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Expectations and Friendships

You know that feeling when you thought you were going to do one thing with a friend and then they bring along another friend you weren’t expecting? Ever feel disappointed or upset about that? You’re not alone!

Expectations for just about everything are a part of how we go through our day; we think its warm out and are surprised to find it really cold, we expect to have dinner waiting for us and find that its not.

How to roll along with plans when they change? A Thriving Individual has likely already encountered the situations listed above since they aren’t all that unique but it’s the ‘how to’ part that is a bit trickier.

First things first ~ be realistic about those expectations! If your last three times out to a movie with friends ended in disappointment because they picked a type of movie you don’t like, the 4th time isn’t likely to be all that different. When we begin to look more realistically at what has both happened in the past and what could happen this time around we’re less likely to be surprised and perhaps upset.

The second thing to keep in mind is that others can’t meet our needs if we don’t state them out loud. I have yet to meet a mind reader but if you do please do send them my way! If you want something in particular it’s often best to just state that, “I would really like it if we could….”

A third piece to actively remind yourself what is the real ‘goal’ is or benefit to what you’re doing. If going to the movies is the important part you could just do that on your own but if spending time with your friend is important then even if there are others around you can still have time with your friend. Your friend bringing along another person isn’t about you not being ‘good enough’; its more like a compliment that spending time with you is fun.

A last piece for you to keep in mind as you keep on the road being a Thriving Individual ~ learning to roll with changes is an excellent gauge for how flexible you’re becoming. When you find yourself a bit stuck and wanting what you want and how you want it, its handy to take a moment, think about what the priorities are and then, if necessary, state a need out loud.

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